Finding Your Voice During Difficult Times |

This past week has really challenged me to understand myself.

What I believe. What I stand up for. How I truly ‘think’. How I react. How I support others. How I listen to others.

And I have found myself wondering exactly how I deal with my feelings – in a manner that feels true to me AND supports the people and ideals that I value.

I get lost in the disbelief of reality. Here we are in the middle of an unprecedented pandemic – a situation I still had not fully gotten my head around – to be met with blatant racism and our nation in turmoil.

Even as I write this I feel as if my head is exploding and empty – all at the same time.

I need time to process information – that’s how I’m built. I’m not an immediate reactor. I do not verbalize my initial emotional reactions to events (good or bad). I internalize. I need to sort through the data I’m receiving, align the material with my value system, formulate my stance on the subject, and then decide how I will share my point of view with others.

When the information I receive is so misaligned with my values my process takes longer. Because I just don’t understand. I just can’t get my head around beliefs that are so distant from my own.

But information and action moves so quickly in our world today! Twitter statements. Facebook profiles. Instagram hashtags. Open letters. Editorial points of view. Protests. Donations. Books to read. Movies to watch.

By moving too slowly I feel like I’ve lost any opportunity to make a difference. And at the same time I feel like I’ve let people down. That I’m not strong enough to speak out. That I’m not supporting causes that I feel strongly about.

And I feel guilty for not adding my voice to the mix. Because silence is not an option for me, but changing my Facebook profile to a black square is also not an option for me. I love that these are options for other people and I respect other people’s voices – they are just not mine.

Remember it was just a few weeks ago I wrote about self-awareness and self-confidence. We are all different. Your ability to understand yourself and stay anchored in how you are built, your values and how you contribute are just that – YOURS.

And I respect that others are ahead of me on sharing their positions on what is happening in our world right now. I love seeing and reading about people’s outrage to racism. I love the fact that donations are at an all time high for the Black Lives Matter organization(s).

But at the same time I feel as if I’m not part of the solution because I have yet to do any of those things.

I read a post the other day that alluded to the idea that being silent was just another way of encouraging the aggression vs. supporting the aggrieved. And while I understood the intention behind the words, they hurt.

Because just because we haven’t yet said something publicly about how we feel about a topic doesn’t mean we are silent on the topic. We are working our own way to express our feelings. To contribute to our cause. To raise awareness.

I love the fact that there are leaders in our world who’s responses to divisive situations are immediate. And anchored in love, support and inclusion. I expect to hear these messages from our leaders – political, social, professional. I believe that as a public official, social influencer and CEO of a large company your point of view is necessary as quickly as possible (and hopefully as inclusive and supportive as possible). We need leadership in times of turmoil.

I love that there are people who take immediate progressive action to right wrongs. I love that there are people who haven’t spoken out before who thoughtfully engage in the conversation.

And I love the ability to contribute to the broader conversation of right and wrong. Justice and injustice. Hard change for the better. In my own way.

For those of you out there who have already shared your point of view, donated money, protested, engaged in difficult conversations, watched movies, read books or otherwise sought to contribute your voice to the injustice of racism – thank you.

For those of you who haven’t yet – I get that too.

Finding your voice during a difficult time (any difficult time) can be scary. Difficult. Unclear. Different from others. Overwhelming. Painful. Confusing.

But necessary. For your integrity. Your piece-of-mind. Your human-ness. Your stress levels. Your happiness.

For me, my voice comes through this writing. Sharing with you how I feel, and hoping that if you are feeling similarly I can help – with ideas, suggestions or just the knowledge that you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings.

And my actions right now during this difficult time in our country will be to educate myself. To understand first and react second. To open my mind to unconscious bias, understand how that bias shows up in my own mind and take action to change.

And as I proceed through my own journey I will use this blog to share insights, ideas and recommendations that may be helpful for you as well.

But that’s just me. You do what is right for you. Find your own voice and use that voice in a manner that is in alignment with who you are. Write, study, post, protest, discuss, implement change – just do something good for yourself and others.

“We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.” ~ Mother Teresa.